geniussherly221: solitarylikeme: consulting—dick: you can’t kill your character in her first episode twice you can see the evil in his eyes
but imagine the doctor as a lit teacher
Student: We don't know what the author actually meant, and they're dead, so it's not like we can go ask them.
The Doctor: brb
twistingfortunes: REMEMBER THE END?!?! 2014!FUTURE!CAS SAID THAT HE HAD NO POWERS BECAUSE THE ANGELS LEFT “NO MATTER WHAT CHOICES YOU MAKE WHATEVER DETAILS YOU ALTER YOU WILL ALWAYS END UP HERE” AHA hAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HELP
Inside the mind of Veronica Roth
Al: I like you Tris
Veronica: Excellent let's just make him commit suicide.
Will: Oh, Christina is just...
Veronica: BAM! Tris can kill this one.
Zeke: Hey! look...Shauna..!
Veronica: Wheel chaiiirrr!
Marlene: Well maybe I do love Uriah
Veronica: not s o fast...let's make you jump off a building.
Fernando: I like nicknames when beautiful girls like Christina...
Veronica: BAM! DEAD!
Tobias: I love you Tris
Tris: I love you too Tobias
Veronica: See you guys in Allegiant.
Clary: Look at this.
Jace: It's a coffee cup.”
Clary: I know it's a coffee cup.
Jace: I can't wait till you draw something really complicated, like the Brooklyn Bridge or a lobster. You'll probably send me a singing telegram.
Robot Booties: Let's Recap all the Various Ways... →
persephonegoestohell: Falls onto hard floor when player fails to catch him. Lens cracked by GLaDoS. Takes damage being tossed forcefully off to the side by GLaDoS. Hull pecked by Bird. Hull damaged once more while falling through tube into GLaDoS’ chamber (“Ow, ow, ow, ow… *plops onto floor again*)
When people don't understand
Harry Potter fans: muggles
Mortal Instruments fans: mundanes
Percy Jackson fans: mortals
youarefuckingmajestic: REMEMBER, IF YOU’RE NOT GOING TO BE LEAVING THE HOUSE THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO REASON TO CHANGE OUT OF YOUR PYJAMAS. STAY COMFORTABLE, YOU DESERVE IT, YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD
bullied: 90% of the contacts in my phone are useless.
harryedward: i’m friends with everyone until they get better friends and kinda leave me
googlehomie: you’re gonna regret not dating me after I get hot
craplos: ladies. be careful when u wear spaghetti straps. it might distract the boys. they’ll start thinking of spaghetti. they will get hungry. they will stop at nothing to get their spaghetti.
deanisaclosetedgeek: deidaracchi: today in science we had this sub nd the other people went outside so it was just me and a couple friends so we flipped all the chairs upside down and formed a satanic star in the middle of the room w yard sticks and i laid in t he middle of th floor while all the other people acted like they were sacrificing me th en the sub came in and the only thing he said...
(I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)
Me: “So, where’s your mom at?”
Boy: “She’s in the store. Do you have kids?”
Me: “Not yet. We’re expecting a baby girl soon, though.”
Boy: “Well, she’s going to turn out nice, like you! So, I’m going to marry her someday!”
(I laugh, and play along while I bring him to the service desk, and wait until his mom picks him up. Six years later, my daughter comes home from school and introduces us to a friend that defended her against a bully on the playground. I didn’t recognize him, but he certainly knew who I was!)
Can we take a moment to appreciate the Owl City...
themustachedwaffle: andiamburdenedwithgloriousfeels: hi-john-im-alive: One way Or another I’m gonna meetcha I’m gonna ust *tour guide voice* if you look to your right you’ll see a relic from the event known simply as “Mishapocalpyse”
phildanosaurusrex: Imagine if Dan never never started YouTube and finished his law course at Uni instead and then became a lawyer